Life, Love & Everything

Observations on life, love, and relationships from a 40-something woman.

Author: SP Enman

Internet Dating

Internet Dating Profiles: What I’ve Learned, Part I

Reading between the lines of internet dating profiles when you’re a “woman looking for a man”.


I’ve been on internet dating. A lot.

Internet dating is where I met my ex-husband (no regrets — we’ve had quite the ride); and where I’ve forged a few key long-term relationships. It’s where I’ve met some lovely men with whom I simply didn’t gel; where I’ve had my heart ripped out my chest and stamped on (not literally, thank goodness, and I was wholly complicit in the experience) — and where I’ve had some … singular encounters (a post or two, or three, for another day).

I’ve been on and off and on it again so much — conducting selfless extensive research, juste pour vous, dear reader — that, combined with a fair few years of studying human behaviour and the secret agendas of the psyche, I’ve come up with a fairly reliable list of Things To Notice* when you look at a profile and in the initial stages of an online chat. They’re not 100% reliable. What is? But as rules of thumb they have proven themselves time and again**.

So, without further delay, here are the first three of six (you’ll find the rest in Part II, coming next):

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The Set-Up: Where, And How, It All Started

Someday my prince will come.

(A codependent) Snow White; & me, aged 10

Snow White’s words of ardour-filled yearning were a frequent ear-worm of mine when I was young.

They had started to weave their way into my stream-of-conscious when I was 10 — the same age that I moved from the country I loved, and my all-girls school, and back to a dreary, grey UK and a new, co-ed Prep school.

I was primed to yearn for that fairy-tale, and the spark ignited as soon as I entered an environment of which 50% was comprised of the opposite sex. I surfed a wave of longing that was unrequited. Because, frankly, I had no idea what to do around, or how to relate to, boys. No idea at all. But this wasn’t so much cluelessness as a profound sense of conflict. Turmoil, even. Yes: turmoil.

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